The Diatribe’s Kyd Kane

Jocelyn's Truth

I spent my childhood living between my grandma’s home and my mom’s house. While the adults in my life worked to sustain and navigate through the perils they faced in everyday life, I was left to adapt and develop resiliency, creativity, responsibility and perseverance.

Kyd as a child sitting and watching T.V. Text box says: "In First grade, my mom entered an abusive relationship and I fell fell in love wirth food and television. I binged on both, but no one ever noticed....

I met words and creativity at my school’s annual outdoor poetry festival, the next year. I began reading anything I could get my hands on….

Kyd as A child writing in her notebook, while eating ramen  noodles. Text box says: I chicken scratched my soul while eating ramen noodles and drinking ginger soda.
When I was growing up, my teachers said I should journal. My mom bought me notebooks and pretty colored pens, then encouraged me to craft whole worlds outside of my own.
Kyd as a child walking out of a pharmacy with bags full of supplies. Text box says: "Once I had enough money, I walked to a nearby pharmacy and bought more notebooks and decorative pencils than I’d ever need. The dictionary introduced me to the words dream, believe, imagination and desire."

I wrote classics in classrooms when I was 10 years old…

Kyd as a child in school winning an award for her classic poems.

I became obsessed with writing stories and poems. I started receiving awards and certificates for excelling in school but, of course, no one noticed.

Rewriting my life in my mind So I had a mom like Claire Huxtable and a pops like Uncle Phil….

Dream bubble of Kyd and her fictional parents, uncle Phil and  Claire Huxtable  Then a picture of her writing those  stories

Living a life much more comfortable with less past due bills And more money to fill banks. Less noodles and more steaks. Less agitation and more vacations. I literally vacated the physical to live a life more traditional. These words raised me, These words saved me. Gave me hugs when people forgot to hug me

 

Words became my family, creative expression became my best friend. A plethora of pages and writing utensils witnessed my life unfold, I wrote notebooks and notebooks of untold gold and true to form, no one noticed.

Years later my obsession with writing and creativity continued, but was eventually stifled by sexual violence, demanding jobs, lack of familial support and a resurfacing of childhood trauma associated with adbandonment and neglect.

Pile of notebooks in foreground with an older Kyd in the background stressed out.  Text box says: "As time passed, my notebooks collected dust and I became a person that I didn’t recognize when I looked in the mirror."

Struggling through life with depression, anxiety and PTSD, I set out on a journey of mindfulness that led me to therapy.

Picture of Kyd on computer writing again.  Text box says: Therapy reminded me of the freedom I felt when I first started writing and eventually I began to explore new ways to express myself."

Anxious to connect with other creatives, I began sharing my poetry on blog sites and at open mics and before long I found community. The kid in me always wanted to be noticed, always wanted to be heard, always wanted to be loved and I was finally being noticed.

Close shot of Kyd Performing.

My art would eventually give me the opportunity to share my work in spaces and on stages all over the nation. The very things that helped me fly as a child, now allow me to soar as a woman. I am so grateful that I reconnected with the kid in me.